I watched what had to be the world's worst Flamenco dancers yesterday. I wasn't expecting much. I mean, after all, if you were good, you would be performing to sold-out audiences in Madrid and not having to be flown to the middle of the desert to perform for free in the atrium of a shopping mall.

Now, I don't know if elephants suffer from epilepsy but after watching the first dancer 'strut her stuff', I roughly think I know what that would look like. The second one wasn't much better, leaping around like an electrocuted chimpanzee with ants up one leg.

Harsh? Perhaps.

But the way I look at things is...if you are performing in public, even if it is for free, you had better be damn good. Because there will, undoubtedly, be some unforgiving twat watching who will rip you to shreds on his blog...